were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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