Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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