she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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