I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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