guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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