i don't like sucking hair
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
