woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
