i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
