So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
