I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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