I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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