We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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