Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
