im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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