I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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