Is it normal to miss your booty call?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
