I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize