what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
