guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Someone came in the potted fern
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
