The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
