she smelled like a LAN party
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
