If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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