You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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