I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize