Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Someone came in the potted fern
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
