my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
