i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
