Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize