Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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