She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize