glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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