There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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