please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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