Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's just like the Real World with babies
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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