This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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