I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
