you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
