Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
