He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize