You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
