...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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