Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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