Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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