With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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