Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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