Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
