I love black thongs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
