Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
