We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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