Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
