No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize