OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
