Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
