if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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