what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
