I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
