i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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