He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
