real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
