...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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