Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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