It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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