I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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