apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
