I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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