Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am one with the molecules
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
