We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
