Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
