So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
