Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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