so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
